Drifting Apart

Hola and Hello my readers!

That's how I starts my blogs. I'm afraid that there won't even be one person who will read thi and care to leave a comment. That's not going to stop me from writing this:)

Señorida Anastasia here dearie. Thank you for showing up first of all:)

It's been exactly three months after I turned 14 on March. I'm growing up. One thing that always made my heart ache a little is when I think about some of the people I had in my life. When I boarded a flight back in June 30 2020, I lost a lot in my life. I lost a part of myself (I thought). I found something else. A different world to be honest. I still remember how the breeze and the dark night sky felt different. From the Arabian nights to the Kerala life. Everything was between the pandemic. 

I remember getting this insane feeling like we get before sitting inside a roller coaster during the whole process of the thing. It was between the pandemic like I mentioned. I didn’t think of what was ending there. I was only building expectations of my life here. I was a ten year old girl. 

I lost some of my family there. My friends. My family friends. Haha! You may wonder how did I lose it. It wasn’t like the old times when I saw some of my family again. Friends, lost contact. Family friends.... don't care maybe. Did they forget? 

Maybe yes. Maybe no. It's certain like it's not like what it was. Too much did change. It's kind of hurting when you think of how you just drifted apart. I hated to think about it. 

When the world opened up all of a sudden before me... I knew nothing. Who am I? 

I was lost to the depths of a bottomless ocean. I didn’t know what to do. What was I supposed to do? I asked that question even when I set my foot for the next step. Unsure. Stupid. Insecure. 

I couldn't just... just be myself just like that. My mind seemed to be somewhere else. Somewhere away from everything around me. 

Now I see what i didn’t. We grow. We enter and leave people's lives. It's never lost. The light they left in us will shine brightly as ever. They memories that had been created will twinkle for eternity. 

What had been doesn't have to be. I wouldn't have found all this if it wasn't for it all. What had been will remain in me. Always and forever. For infinite and beyond. It has enlightened my soul. It wouldn't hurt to know what all will become a past like that. I'm on highschool. 10th grade. Last year. It doesn't hurt to know it. We would all drift apart. We may even forget. But that light we shared and recieved will always enlighten us all. It will keep enlightening us all even without realising.

It's beautiful!

I think 2022 was the end of much of these stupidity. 2023 was a wonderful year for these realisations to come up. Now we're in the middle of 2024. It's been another year of realisations and discoveries. It's an year of stepping up into the world. Sky is not my limit. Neither yours. 

Conquer yourselves! Conquer the world! 

It's not lost. It's all here. Right here. Enlightening. Nothing is lost. It's always here. Peter Pan was wrong. He was right but he is wrong. I want to grow up and I'm ready to grow up. We're not letting go. We're just finding more to not let go. 

If you're lost... just know that

You may forget to look your pen in your hands while searching it on your desk. 

Bye! 

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Señorida Anastasia